If I had a £ for every time I heard the words, I want them to do such and such or I want them to stop doing such and such, I would be a very wealthy woman.
What I wonder makes many of us, such controlling human beings that we want people to behave in ways which we deem to be acceptable.
We want people to love others who we deem to be acceptable. And we can make ourselves very miserable wanting what we have no control over getting.
We cannot make others do things to suit us, we cannot require others to behave in ways that are about our needs and not theirs.
Yet we continue to withhold love and affection or in some cases money, if we are not given what we want, which takes no account of what the other person needs or wants.
How many families do you know who want their partners, children or even parents to do things in ways that will make them feel good. I remember feeling embarrassed when my dad began to sing to my school friends on an outing, I was mortified and I wanted him to stop so I could feel better, and I made it very clear I was unhappy with him, looking back at his harmless activity,I realise was his way of showing me and my friends that he was happy to be a taxi service for us and wanted to be a part of our joy.
This is a very minor thing, yet when we want our friends and families and our partners to restrict who they want to be, and how they express themselves we are doing far more damage to both ourself and others.
Unconditional love means that, there are no conditions to my feelings for you, and I need to accept your behaviours and actions even when I do not agree. But mostly we hide behind the banner of thinking that it is not good for the other person.
