Can divorcing couples ever feel it is fair?

I am quite sure that each person in a divorce will feel that the other has come off better financially.  What most divorcing couples fail to really deal with, is that the financial pot that now needs to be shared into two, is the same pot that provided well for them when it was intact.

The difficulty is that people have needs and wants and feel that they should live in divorce, with the same life style they had during marriage.  Few people have such a big pot that they are fighting over millions, it is more likely thousands.

Often the person who instigates the divorce, especially if there is someone else involved, will be less likely to fight for an equal share as their guilt will play a part. However in situations like this the  betrayed partner often becomes quite malicious thus sparking a battle.

Money and possessions become the weapon that is used to punish the other person and often for many years.  Many breadwinners have to pay support to their spouse for a number of years or even a lifetime, often making it impossible for them to move on with their lives, as they are under so much financial strain irrespective of whether they initiated the divorce or not.

New partners income can also be taken into account and this definitely creates a situation of difficulty between this new ouple also.

It is this crippling burden that can destroy future relationships, create resentment between divorced couples and also the children can become involved.

Can divorce ever be fair, well I suspect that whoever you speak to, will be feeling that they have been left in a mess by the other, whether financial, emotional or physical as it is rare that two people from an adult place, make a decision to divorce and separate everything equally or fairly depending on their financial situation, it can happen and it does happen, but resentment and feelings of betrayal often get in the way of wisdom and generosity of spirit.

Comments

[Tanay]

Most Divorced Couples feel that they have been better off at the cost of other.The finance Criteria comes out as a bigger issue whereby both fail to cope with the burden which result in more quarrel.